• No matter how long you've been dating, you shouldn't pull a disappearing act.
  
• Not giving the benefit of the closure is just cruel. That means no phone calls, no e-mails and no voice mails — do it in person.
  
• Be honorable. Be responsible. Put yourself in the other person's position. End the relationship without destroying the other person's feelings
  
• Don't bring up every little detail of horrible things that happened. Don't bring up what other people have to say, about your relationship. And be kind even as you are clear and honest.
  
• Don't use the tired old break-up lines like, "It's not you, it's me" or, "Can we still be friends?"
  
• Once the relationship has ended, it's back to survival Step 1, making the connection. But hopefully, each new experience has been a chance to grow and learn.
  
• If you're entering the dating scene after a long time out, you'll find the landscape a lot different than when you left. To help you get comfortable again, look at it as adventure and not some kind of un-scaleable hill
  
• Don't let a rejection dash your belief that you are attractive or a potential partner for someone.
  
• Don't try to think about, "Can I marry that person?" on your next first date.
  
• Dating should be fun, life should be fun. Don't take yourself too seriously in dating — people are attracted to that.

Nancy Slotnick, Dating Coach
Cablight.com
nancy@cablight.com, www.cablight.com

HurryDate
New York City
212-871-6707
www.hurrydate.com

Harriette Cole, Syndicated Advice Columnist, "Sense & Sensitivity"
Profundities, Inc.
10 West 15th St. #526
New York, NY 10011
212-645-3005
AskHarriette@HarrietteCole.com
www.HarrietteCole.com

How to Be: Contemporary Etiquette for African Americans
By Harriette Cole